New Years Resolutions

Every year we're expected to come up with New Years Resolutions as part of peer pressure and the constant nagging in the back of our heads telling us to get into shape (for real this year!). Whoever came up with the notion to come up with life changing motivations after a long night of drinking had to obviously been drinking all night when coming up with the notion of New Years Resolutions. It's not that New Years Resolutions aren't a bad thing, I actually think they're wonderful ideas but who really keeps with theirs for long? Americans are stubborn and don't give up bad habits easily. For example, I've been telling myself for years that I need to get back into shape if I ever want to get laid. Instead of actually doing it I use excuses like, "It's cold out," or, "I'll do it another day." Now that probably has nothing to do with my New Years Resolution to get into shape but I'm going to blame it on that; not on laziness or laziness.

There are also the people that say they need to go on a diet as their resolution. They either stop eating entirely or get off the wagon only a few weeks into the diet. What's the point then? Well, that was their New Years Resolution so they had to at least try. Why don't people make easy New Years Resolutions? Like, "I will feed my dog every day," or how about, "I won't kill anybody this year!" Those should be pretty easy to pull off. Instead we spend thousands of dollars on exercise equipment that sits in the corner after being used once while we sit on the couch watching Scrubs eating Kentucky Fried Chicken. It's a real shame, a real fucking shame.

I'm not really sure if I'm complaining about New Years Resolutions or overweight lazy Americans. I honestly don't care about either since my New Years Resolutions never last more than a day, since masturbating is quickly scratched off the list and the above listed exercising is usually put off until the Spring where it never actually occurs. But hey! Maybe this year I'll really put on a six pack. A six pack of beers.